i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Two words: blizzard sex
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
