I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
