thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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