Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
