You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
