Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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