The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
