so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
