just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Bring me that man meat
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
