i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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