Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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