I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
