Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
