so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
