You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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