I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
