so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
