i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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