She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
