What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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