apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
