I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
