Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
