Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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