I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I understand Curling. That high.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
