At least make sure they are 18
Why
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
