Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have tasted many bathrooms
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
