all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
