Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
