dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
