at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
