That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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