Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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