I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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