Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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