We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
