who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ok first of all what the fuck
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