How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
