Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
my poor anus
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
