Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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