Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
