I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
