nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
