I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
