Sry I called you an 8
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woke up backwards on a recliner
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
