Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
