Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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