Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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