Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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