I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
