i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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