new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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