mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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