i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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